my problematic couch

photo by Kenleigh McCart

The Quarantine Question: if I’m in obedience to the LORD, why is He taking good things away from me that are drawing me closer to Him?

Have you ever been stuck in an elevator? I have but it was only for 2 minutes. I was bringing my small couch up to a floor of a residence hall when the doors shut, I rode up, and then it abruptly stopped. I was flipping out. We were in a time crunch, it was the beginning of Covid-19, & I was hot and impatient. My mom was in the lobby talking up to me, trying to get me to move the couch around for the elevator to let me down. Nothing was working. Suddenly, the glorious descent began and the doors opened to see my mother pulling the doors apart with difficulty. I was physically blind in the elevator but also mentally blind in my own cocoon of despair and fear that I had no idea my mama was doing the hard work on the other side to bring me to safety.

“11 But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 13 In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you 14 to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 which God will bring about in his own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, 16 who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen.” 1 Timothy 6:11-16 NIV

Paul is writing to Timothy & encouraging him that there is a lord, the Emperor of Rome, who is in charge, who can get rid of Paul, and who ends up killing Paul. BUT there is another LORD & Paul is crying out to Timothy that this is the One Whom they are waiting for. Before Paul can even finish his sentence, before he can fathom there is a God they are waiting for in hope, he goes into an overflow of awe & faithfulness of Whom he is serving and how holy and set apart God is from the Emperor of Rome.

He cannot keep it in because He is so in awe of God’s faithfulness and perfect timing. He is in awe of His holiness. Paul is looking past the why, what, how, & when. He is fixated on the who. God is beyond and bigger and better than the Emperor of Rome.

I can only think that there is a lord, the Emperor of Rome, who can take me out and that’s the pandemic and ultimately that’s the Enemy. In my own elevator with my problematic couch, my own cocoon of despair, fear, & misery - the pandemic and Enemy were stripping away my present, stripping away my hope, stripping away my excitement, and stripping away the blessing of the awe I have of the faithfulness of God. The blessing that is that I get to place my whole life and trust into the most trustworthy of hands.

But God. There is another LORD who cannot physically be seen but is on the other side doing the hard work to bring you to safety. He is the holy of holies – “Who is immortal, Lord of lords, and Who lives in unapproachable light to Him be honor and might forever.” You have an imperishable inheritance in heaven with Him. That’s Who we’re waiting for. That’s Who we serve. That’s Who is personal. That is Who is bigger than my fear, my anxiety, my expectations.

“Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the LORD. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting – for He will never disappoint you!” Psalm 27:14 TPT

God is not a God of circumstances. He never promised that if we were on His path of obedience and pursuit of holiness that some of our good circumstances would never leave us or forsake us. He only promised us that He would never leave or forsake us. He is non-circumstantial. Abide in Him, don’t give up when it’s hard to spend time with Him, and trust Him because He is patient with you. Live your faith in remembrance of what He has done and live your faith in expectancy for Him to exceed your human expectations. It’s when you let go of the things you cannot control or the things you love more than Him [idols] that He is faithful to come through on His promises of Him being your everything.

my community is simply more of God’s goodness piled on top of His already goodness

It was a pruning season for me. God gave me more words to define my season and help answer my quarantine question this past week from my pastor at my church in Lynchburg. God wants more of His goodness, His abundance, & His freedom for us so He will take away things we thought were better for us [i.e. my community, security, health, comfort, plans, certainty, schedule]. God asked me the question at the beginning of this season, “Am I truly enough for you without all your good circumstances?” This summer was me wrestling with Him every single day to answer that question. I would not have been able to honestly answer that question in March, but today I can say I need more of Him more than I needed those things taken away from me. He is my provider, my friend, my teacher, my healer, my joy, my surpriser, my answer-er to prayer. He is enough. If I had not had 5 months of being by myself in my house I know I would be curled up in a ball in a corner somewhere. But with knowing WHO sits on the throne and knowing what bows at His name, I am okay. I’m safe in His hands.

to Him be honor and might forever. Amen.